Changes

There do need to be some changes in my life. I mean doing things I actually love. Simply put, doing less of the meaningless things and more of what I find meaning in. 


Right after diving into the Mediterranean Sea!

I used to think ‘changes’ meant transforming my environment. Getting rid of exterior things like people that didn’t really serve much purpose to me(ouch), looking for a better job, transforming the way I look. But I came to realize that those things, although they may help, can only be refreshing for a certain period of time. What’s really mind-changing, life-changing, is people and love and passion. 

I always loved stories. Especially stories of people. I loved to be able to place myself in someone else’s shoes for even a little while, and it would give me an exciting sense of liberation that nothing else in the world could offer. I was more interested in the decisions people made throughout their lives and what events influenced them to make those decisions, rather than the things that they owned as a result of those decisions. Stories are a continuous process, not a result. 

However I am sometimes blinded by expectations. In my life, people have always expected a lot from me. I also always expected a lot from myself. I expected a lot of success, a lot of money, a lot of experience, and a lot of love. I could feel my own greed outgrowing my skin, as I struggled between school, jobs, trips, friends, the social scene, family issues, lovers, and more jobs. I needed the crazy nights as much as I needed the part time jobs, and I couldn’t let go of school but I did still want to do my own projects outside of the restricting boundaries of a school curriculum. Although it took time to admit it was a sort of abusion, I now definitely see that it was an unhealthy process of self-harm.

Me dancing with a completely random dude at a boat party.

However I am sometimes blinded by expectations. In my life, people have always expected a lot from me. I also always expected a lot from myself. I expected a lot of success, a lot of money, a lot of experience, and a lot of love. I could feel my own greed outgrowing my skin, as I struggled between school, jobs, trips, friends, the social scene, family issues, lovers, and more jobs. I needed the crazy nights as much as I needed the part time jobs, and I couldn’t let go of school but I did still want to do my own projects outside of the restricting boundaries of a school curriculum. Although it took time to admit it was a sort of abusion, I now definitely see that it was an unhealthy process of self-harm.

Ibiza taught me about happiness. For most of my recent years, I was on a quest to be as superior as I could. Better grades, better looks, a better paycheck. But Ibiza truly liberated me. I remember one of the waiters in a restaurant in Coco Beach referring to us as ‘friend’, laughing with us and trying his best to communicate to us using a language that he wasn’t even obligated to use. Cashiers paying us extra compliments even though they got nothing out of it. People at clubs, on the beach, taking the time to simply make conversation just for the sake of it. ‘Where do they get the energy?’ I thought. As a student with many jobs in Seoul, I never had the spare energy to look around or even care about my surroundings. It was hard enough trying to take care of myself, but now I think, ‘What for?’ If I’m miserable at the end of the day, when will I ever be successful enough to make myself happy?

Coco Beach, Ibiza. The food was great but the waiters were pure gold.

Humor, humility, and sincerity are all things that I overlooked because I was too proud to admit to myself that I was not the superwoman I once dreamed of being. I was afraid to let go of that extra job, and it killed me inside to fail another class because I was forcing myself to multitask day and night. Eventually everything became stressful, even the things I love. 

Bora Bora, Ibiza.

Now I carry the spirit of Ibiza in my heart. I know that the fun-loving, energetic girl is inside me somewhere. I need to make sure her voice isn’t muffled by the noise of daily life. This means doing more of what I love; less of what I don’t actually give a — about from the bottom of my heart. It means I need to slow down, and not beat myself up whenever I realize that even I can’t do five things at once. I need to love myself more, and know how to make fun of myself but also be my own best fan at the same time.

Picnic in the woods

Hey readers,

Although I’m not a big fan of being in the sun (UV RAYS! UGH!), I must admit that the right amount of sunlight and a green, nature-filled background can create amazing photos. Here are some photos I took with my sister on a picnic.

Keepin’ it simple with a white oversized shirt and black shorts.

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Have a lovely day!

Letter to my readers & Summer plans

Dear readers,

Ironically, now that finals are over, I’m going to think more.

I feel like my mind has been confined in a rectangular box for the past 2~3 weeks, since during exam period even reading about people’s views on women’s self-identity and introspection and thinking about feminism is considered a “waste of time”(when I personally think it’s one of the most meaningful things I did this exam period). I mean, I do support and believe in education but I just wish it would involve more independent thinking and individual creativity rather than solely depending on memorization skills.

Well anyways, I’m back! : D It’s summer and I’ve got more time to talk to you guys-my awesome readers whom I love ❤ Honestly, you guys are the best, most insightful readers I could ever wish for. I’m sorry if I sometimes take too long to reply to comments-I’ll try to be faster… And hey if you wanna leave feedback or just talk about anything send me an email: konnikim@gmail.com

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(attempting and failing to build sandcastles at the beach last summer with friends! can’t wait to go again.)

Although my favorite season is without doubt winter(snow! hot chocolate! boots!), I have to admit that summer is one crazy, crazy season. This summer I’m hoping to do lots of things. I’ve got so many ideas in my head right now so let me just write them out.

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(I miss my furry winter boots : (  )

1. Blog, blog, blog.

No one will ever be able to tear me away from my old laptop! (Arrg the ‘d’ key is missing because I was stressed and pulled it out and threw it across the room in a storm of rage two weeks ago… couldn’t find it : (  )

 

2. Think!

I know I mentioned above that I’m gonna think more. Specifically I mean that I’m going to try to reduce the amount of time I spend just routinely doing things. I want to question anything and everything and try to read more and analyze more.

 

3. Go on a diet  Nahh not happenin’. Can’t live without my crisps and Nesquik.

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(How to be my friend: give me Nesquik.)

 

3. Study more

Obviously.

 

4. Buy merchandise!!

Wishlist: Harry Potter wand(yes, I’m 17 years old), Harry Potter shirt, Nirvana shirt, My Chemical Romance shirt.

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(okay #shutupandtakemymoney)

 

5. Come up with more effective argumentation to use against ignorant people that oppose gay marriage/any other type of equality.

Sexists, racists, and basically any other group of biased organisms of the human species included.

 

6. Do something crazy with someone I love.

Because isn’t that what summer is all about??

 

7. Learn to forget the haters!

Seriously girl, you go up to my best friend and whisper in her ear just to tell her you think I’m ugly? That ain’t make you any prettier (or cooler, for that matter).

lll

 

8. Fangirl over Benedict Cumberbatch…

…and how unbelievably sexy he is in Sherlock.

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(isn’t this GIF cute? I think it’s adorable.)

 

9. Stop unfairly judging people.

Okay, okay this kind of contradicts #7, but come to think of it now I too unconsciously judge people. So let’s all try not to judge each other(myself included).

 

10. Improve my Spanish.

Yeah, sure, Spanish movies are super fun and artistic. It’s just that I can’t understand what they’re saying. Is someone dead? Are they going to dinner now..ohh they weren’t whispering love poems in each other’s ears they were arguing over a divorce. okay.

 

I can’t think of any more right now but I’ll add more to the list if I come up with anything. What are YOUR plans this summer?

Don’t forget to comment(click the title of this post, then scroll down!) or Like this post!

Thanks!

 

Image Credits: http://www.nestleprofessional.com, http://www.memecenter.com, http://www.zap2it.com, http://www.lyst.com

My (Fashionable) Trip to Daegu

Hi readers,

I haven’t posted anything new lately because I had my AP exams a few days ago, but I’m back now! Today I decided to share some photos that I took on a recent family trip to my parents’ hometown, Daegu. (It’s a city in the southern part of Korea.) I don’t usually enjoy family trips that much but this time I found a way to spice things up a bit-taking fashion-forward photos wherever I go!

I tried to make use of the colors of the background, and harmonize them with the colors of the clothes that my sister and I were wearing. Take a look and tell me what you think!
IMG_20140504_105120This was taken in a Buddhist temple. The lanterns really add more color and fun to the photo.
IMG_20140504_105136 IMG_20140504_105714My sister thought it would be artistic to pose facing backwards. Yeah.
IMG_20140505_094826 IMG_20140505_095106 I love these photos that we took in front of this shut down store in a traditional marketplace. The background makes the photos look simple yet accentuates the clothes we’re wearing.IMG_20140505_095207 IMG_20140505_095209 IMG_20140505_095757 This is just me being hyper.IMG_20140505_095944 IMG_20140505_100102 IMG_20140505_100244 IMG_20140505_101414 IMG_20140505_130914 IMG_20140505_132241 IMG_20140505_132742 IMG_20140505_132752Haha, the last photo is my favorite. The wind was PERFECT and the photo is calm yet full of movement.

 

To comment or like this post, just click on the title of this post, then scroll down. You’ll see the Like button and Comment box at the bottom of the post. I love reading your comments, whether you agree or disagree with what I say, so go ahead and tell me what you thought of this post.

 

The Existential Crisis at 3 AM

Hi readers,

So it’s 3 AM. I’m lying here in my grandmother’s bed. I’m on a family trip to Daegu(that’s a city in the Southern part of South Korea), because it’s my grandmother’s 70th birthday. I’m just lying here wondering, “What am I doing here?”

konni2(I’m running. Today I went out with my family to enjoy some fresh air and hang out. It was nice to get away from my stressful daily life for once.)

It’s actually a question that I’ve been asking myself for a few weeks now. “What the heck am I doing here?” “Why am I here?” It triggers a moment of confusion and sharp thinking about the situation I’m in. I think about my fate, my life, and about nothingness. Every time I ask myself the question, the world stops still for a split second and my brain seems to whizz past everything in my life. Even though I constantly ask myself the question, I’ve never been able to provide myself with a sufficient enough answer(which is probably why I keep asking myself). The question throws me back every time; it catches me when I’m least expecting it, unendowed with the level of deepness that the question requires at that moment. For a thousandth of a second, I’m drawn into the question. And then the question just disappears, like a puff of cigarette smoke, as my friend in the distance calls me to ask me something about our Math homework.

That’s why I’ve decided to lay here and find the answer to the question before I fall asleep. I want to find a definite answer, so that I can fully eliminate the little puddle of guilt that has formed in a lonely corner of my mind. Well, to begin with, I didn’t choose to be born as myself. I didn’t choose to look like this, to be Korean to be in this environment, etc. But I definitely did make certain decisions that have led me to become who I am now. I chose to stay up till 5 AM writing about fashion. I chose to come to this school to study. I also chose to create or break relationships as I grew up. So I guess you could say that the logical reason I’m here at this point in time, in this particular place, with these people, is fate and my choices. Therefore, every moment of my life is a result, a consequence, of this life I’ve made for myself.

Then… does this mean I’m here merely because this situation is an inevitable aftermath that I’ve brought upon myself? Surely there must be something more. After an internal existential crisis, I conclude that there really isn’t a solid reason for me being here doing what I’m doing. Everyone has different themes that they focus on throughout their lifetime, and that’s why we all have different motives to our lives. The purpose of life isn’t there for us to find. We make the purpose of our own lives as we experience and learn. It’s the choices I make and the attitudes I obtain that define and shape my reason for existence. In short, it’s up to me.

To comment or like this post, just click on the title of this post, then scroll down. You’ll see the Like button and Comment box at the bottom of the post. I love reading your comments, whether you agree or disagree with what I say, so go ahead and tell me what you thought of this post.

Still into you

Hi readers,

I’m still into a lot of people that I should have moved on from. I’m also still into TV series that have already ended, like Gossip Girl or Hannah Montana. I’m still into a lot of other things, like my childhood back in London, and my mum reading me bedtime stories at night. I find it extremely hard to get over things that once meant a lot to me, whether it’s an old notebook or my ex-best friend.

Maybe that’s why these days I am loving Paramore’s ‘Still Into You’. Parts of the lyrics describe my emotions perfectly and the music video is just like eating bananas dipped in chocolate fondue with crumpets in the winter.

Click here to watch the music video.

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(image above: from the ‘Still Into You’ music video by Paramore)

Now, I don’t really believe in “true love” and all that pink fluffy stuff, but I do know how it feels to still get butterflies in your stomach every time you see someone, even after years have past. Especially if that someone has moved on but you haven’t, it just sucks(speakin’ from experience). But the thing about Paramore’s ‘Still Into You’ is that it’s not all soppy and whiny like your typical i-still-love-you love song. It’s very quirky, cute, fun, colorful, and upbeat. Which is actually what I love so much about it. It makes the heartbreak more bearable and light. It makes the butterflies in your stomach flutter around even more crazily. Hayley Williams(the girl from Paramore-see photo above) radiates brightness and energy in every way possible, in every aspect of design possible, in the music video.

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The first thing I noticed in the music video was Hayley Williams’ outfit. She’s totally rocking the ‘quirky cute girl’ look, with her pastel tones and stunning yellow (is that paint?) tights. She definitely doesn’t look like a fragile little drama queen going on and on about how much she still loves this guy(we all have that one friend…grr). She actually looks like she’s having lots of fun. I personally really love this outfit because it makes Hayley seem young and vibrant. It reminds me of young, fun love, and it definitely makes the whole love theme seem more light-hearted, which I think is great. I love to think of ‘love’ in a lighthearted, oh-well-who-cares manner because for me it’s one of those things in life that you can’t just achieve by trying hard. I’m not usually a fate-dependent person(I despise fortune-telling), but when it comes to peoples’ emotions for each other, I am just clueless and try to just go with the flow.

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Her hair is half orange and half pink, and she has unusually short bangs. I would never in a million years be able to pull off this hairstyle, but Hayley is awesome and her hair adds to the colorful quirky atmosphere of the music video. It also matches the color scheme of her outfit, which makes each and every moment of the video more visually appealing.

9090Another thing I must say about her fashion in this music video is how it’s consistent throughout the whole video. Sometimes it really is a turn-off when there’s no consistency in a music video(or when there’s TOO much consistency), but in this one Hayley wears only one outfit yet it doesn’t bore viewers at all. Since the background keeps changing, we can enjoy a various range of scenes yet keep track of Hayley and see how her outfit blends so well with each background.

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As you can see(image above), even when Hayley is just sitting on a bed, her outfit and the background of the scene are in perfect harmony, like they would be in a Vogue magazine fashion shoot. The pillows consist of pastel colors just like her outfit, and the intricate patterns on the duvet and bed headboard, and the candles(and…are those fake cakes on the table?..random..) create a youthful, warm atmosphere.

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mmm

Aaand that’s all for today, guys! I hope you enjoyed this post, and don’t forget to comment, like, and follow (to comment or like, just click the title of this post, then scroll down. You’ll see the Comment box and Like button at the end of the post.) It really makes my day when readers leave comments(of any sort) so don’t be shy!

Thanks : )

GIF/Image Credits: http://expedition-to-a-dynamic-life.tumblr.com/, http://rebloggy.com/post/gif-love-gifs-music-video-music-hayley-williams-paramore-colour-bands-worth-it-s/47526974450

My best fashion moments! <3

Hey readers!

Today I’m going to show you some of my personal favorite fashion moments! I don’t usually take loads of photos, but I’ve rummaged through my photo album, and found some pretty memorable fashionista moments that I managed to preserve. So take a look through the history of my fashion evolution, and have a good laugh at how weird I look in the pics! XD (but don’t copy/save the photos -just look please! : )

#1. So to start off, here’s my ultimate favorite youngster fashion moment-HA! fashion-forward since 2003!

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Whoah. How about THAT. There are flowers everywhere, even on my headband! In this pic I’m wearing baby blue flower print trousers and a vintage embroidered flowy shirt, complemented with a cute necklace. Notice my zig-zagged rainbow colored hair! So… if you have a kid, maybe you should try out this look?-and you’ll be able to blackmail your kid when they become a teenager with a photo of them like this. (Believe me, I’m cringing as I’m writing this. But whatever makes my readers happy makes me happy : )

#2. This photo is much more recent.

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This was July 2013, I believe. I’m wearing unique brown gladiator sandals with heels, my favorite Aztec patterned simple t-shirt, and my DIY jean shorts! I say DIY because those shorts were actually long jeans-that is, until I got a pair of scissors and cut them to turn them into vintage shorts. I had to be careful to sew the hemline after cutting the jeans because otherwise the string would keep unraveling and eventually the whole thing would come apart.

#3. The third fashion moment is a photo of me at Korea Style Week!

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Yes, those are the same gladiator sandals! This time I’ve matched them with a flowy non-sleeved top and skirt-pants. It looks like a dress, but NO, those are two separate garments. : O I love the blend of how the clothes look classy and a teenie-weenie bit bohemian, and how the shoes complement the outfit really well. The shoes tone down the classiness a notch and create a more laid back, casual outfit that still looks stylish, in my opinion.

#4. And now I’m a country girl!

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I’m all set to be a country girl with my flowery shorts, brown Bambi shirt, blue straw hat, and UNICEF canvas bag. All the colors are very nature-friendly, and the texture of the garments are all on the soft side. It’s ironic that I’m trying to be a country gal in the middle of a gigantic Seoul fashion mall though.

#5. This time I am surrounded by nature!

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As you can see, the cherry blossoms are lookin’ amazing! This was last spring, and I was out with my friends having fun after midterms. I’m wearing a Teenie Weenie yellow teddy bear shirt, and I’m wearing a plain white t-shirt inside it, to create a layered look. I’m also wearing my bright red skinny-fit trousers and have my blue Uniqlo cardigan around my waist-I love how all the colors clash but look stunning together. It’s all so bright and sunny, so to not overdo it, I put on some simple black canvas shoes. Lovin’ my heart-shaped sunglasses! : D

#6. Again, surrounded my mother-nature!

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It’s not often that you spot a wild Konni walking in the mountains, so this pic is really rare. I’m wearing my favorite oversized knit sweater and some soft winter shorts and black stockings, and of course, ma’ boots! Boots are an Autumn/Winter ESSENTIAL for me. I LOVE BOOTS! I like my hair in this pic-the black fluffy hair tie kinda stands out for some reason. And I’ve got some random white headphones that are rectangular.

#7. *Sound effects* Dun dun DUN! It’s me in NYC, the city of my dreams!

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I’m sitting on the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NY, pretending to be Serena in Gossip Girl(and miserably failing, yes, I know)! I still remember exactly how it felt to actually be in NY for the first time, and go to the places that I had only seen so many times in my favorite TV series. So since I was probably not gonna be able to go visit NY again for a long time, I thought “Why not channel Serena van der Woodsen from Gossip Girl?” and I did-I tried to go for a laid-back yet slightly sophisticated combination, with my y-shirt and black satin skirt(which you can’t see because I’m covering it with my jacket), and my black ballet flats with small buckles on them. I have an amazing brown leather jacket that completes the look and makes it look much more cooler. Without the leather jacket I would have just looked like a weird businesswoman sitting on the steps alone at lunch break.

Aaand, that’s a wrap! Thanks for staying ❤

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If you have any posts you want me to do, or anything you want me to write about, comment below. Tell me if you want me to do more of these posts!