Bus Ride Home

Bus Ride Home

The sunlight tickled my left eyebrow, as I lay my heavy head deeper into the fur hood of my winter coat. It was almost as if the golden light was grazing my face with its fingertips, causing me to wince and sneeze a little. Allergies. 

I sense the middle-aged woman behind me flinch ever so slightly as I shudder from my sneeze, and I apologize in my mind, ‘Sorry woman, but don’t worry, I don’t have Corona,’ then I catch myself thinking, ‘-but I might as well, if every other day of my life turns out as miserable as this one,’ But of course, it’s just a split-second thought, I’d never die because I’m too weak and too strong at the same time. On days like this, a woman’s got to remind herself that there are things to live for and live by, there are tasks to be done, there are people to be met and dreams to be ravished and places to be conquered and- 

-my phone shudders too, I frown as I grudgingly pull it out of my coat pocket, careful as so not to pull too hard on the wire(wireless earphones just don’t make sense to me – or so I tell myself whenever I check my card receipts every now and then), and I raise my eyebrows intentionally as I read- ‘Konni Kim. here’s the password. Bye.’ I mean, three years together and that’s how we’re going to address each other now that we’re done? Come on, this isn’t 1970. 

It sucks enough that I had to ask my ex for the password to our joint webdrive, but what sucks more is having to rummage through 9,476 haunting files to pick out my own photos from the stack of remains of what used to be a relationship. Why is it that love makes us do stupid things like share a fucking webdrive? Never making that mistake again. 

Love sucks, I think as I try to push out any recurring images of him with his new girlfriend, telling myself it’s over and it’s not worth it, it’s not like you were going to marry him in the end anyways, it was a tied up knotted no-good situation and this was going to happen one way or another, but then all the ‘what if’ arguments start boring a hole in my head, asking me ‘what if you had somehow held on’ and ‘what if you had been a better person’ and-

-my misery debate is interrupted by the announcement of the bus telling me I’m home. 

Copyright, all rights reserved, konnikim.com

What I’ve been up to

It’s great to be back.

There are certain periods in people’s lives where they realize that they are powerful, or weak, deserving, or under-qualified. Maybe there comes a time when you make your first ‘big break’, or your second and third, and maybe it all becomes boring. There will also be months where you feel beaten down, and nothing seems to be in place and no one is worth your trust.

I feel like I’ve been through a couple of phases during the two years I’ve been away from blogging. Some ups and downs, some triumphs and losses. More realizations and new beginnings.

I’ve closed some doors – I learned that maybe I’m not in the place to be a research assistant for neither Korean Hanbok nor negotiation studies. Recently I’m also coming to the conclusion that I’m not interested in making my own clothes, either. I’d rather draw, create images, or curate looks. After all, I’ve always been in love with the editorial side of art rather than the actual creation process. Some new doors have opened too – I’m working to plan and curate parties here in Seoul! It’s going great, I’m working with a great team and the best venues (will post more about this soon).

I’m not much of a past-dweller, but I feel like whenever life confuses me I go back to my roots and my young self. I need to remind myself once in a while that I am naturally OK. Innately strong and passionate, and good, and fierce. I recall stories of me as a kid, fearless and always up for a challenge. They say the most important thing for anyone is believing in themselves, but it seems like it’s also the hardest thing.

I’m back because I realized that at the end of the day this is the outlet and platform where I’m most ME. I can let loose and still be good at it. I can stay up all night contacting brands or potential interviewees and write for hours yet actually stay happy. That’s the most important thing, right?

So yes, I’m back for good and I’m ready now to create even better stuff to share!

Summer fashion photoshoot!

Hey readers,

I hope you’re all having a great day : )

Today I went to the Han River(Seoul’s major river, the fourth longest on the Korean peninsula) with family and took some great photos of how my sister wore her outfit. It was a beautiful sunny day so the pics really turned out better than I’d imagined. The background is filled with bright natural colors which makes the shots look vibrant and energetic. She’s wearing a grey shirt with holes all over it(yay grunge!). It has a lip/American flag design printed on the front. The shorts she’s wearing are stonewashed and are a light shade of blue. They’re ripped and the pockets are showing, to create a more grunge-y, vintage effect. The shoes are red high-top ‘SK8-Hi’s from Vans-I tried to find the exact color of ‘SK8-Hi’s on the Vans website, but I think they only have this exact model in Vans Korea, so if you’re in the US, click here(WOMEN / MEN) to see other ‘SK8-Hi’s with different colors(they’re all very unique and colorful!). Oh and of course-rectangular shades are crucial to her chic look!


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