Steal Taylor’s style (Guest Post)

Taylor Swift Looks That You Can Effortlessly Rock

Taylor Swift’s vocals never miss the right notes; the crooner just bagged the Best Song award for Bad Blood at the MTV EMAs. But you know what else of hers never misses striking a victory/ her ooh-so-uber sense of style. It’s trendy, it’s classy, and it’s even simpler to whip up in case you’re a fool for celebrity fashion. And here we bring you five of her easy looks to mock up and rock.

Mini denim and long legs

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Oooh so very light on the eyes and high on style – isn’t getting this look a piece of cake? We’re pretty sure that you have a pair of denim shorts lying around somewhere in your wardrobe that are just waiting to be pulled out. And even if you don’t, you can always cut up an old pair to match the length on those ultra-mini shorts Swift’s sporting. Pair it up with white full-sleeve top and nude pumps to get this super sexy yet easy celebrity style in absolutely no time.

Black is black

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New York – 04/17/2014 – Taylor Swift goes to a recording studio in Manhattan. Credit: Broadimage

Taylor Swift just looks fantabulous in black; don’t you agree? Well, if not, then take a second look. The good news is that you can probably mock up her celebrity style with just about as much as ease as the one earlier. While the skirt and that sheer top are probably branded and carry a rather unaffordable price tag with them, you can pull something off a reasonable e-store that is just about a perfect match. And the black leggings and heels are something that you probably already have in your wardrobe. If not, then what do you have? They’re black fashion essentials for every woman. Either way, the all black look is always a rocker and a fashion win on the streets; never goes wrong!

 

Active fashion

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And who said sporty wasn’t fashionable? She definitely makes us sweat swiftly in that sporty look. You know what, you can get it too, and that too without too much of an effort. So if you’re an avid gym goer, you probably already own a pair of black active pants; and even if they’re long, just roll ‘em up till below the knees. Slip on a black sleeveless top – which by the way is another female wardrobe essential. And for the white sleeveless, just ask one of your bigger male gym-going friends for one. Oh and don’t forget the fancy snickers and fashion jewelry in the arm to make the look more fashionable and less sporty.

 

 

 

 

Hot winter swag

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Winter’s here and a style guide would be incomplete without the letterman! And whaddya know, Taylor does it right again. It’s another easy look that you can effortlessly rock on the streets for some hot winter swag. Pull out your letterman, throw it over a simple white T, and match it with a pair of matching shorts. The flats are a great replacement for the heels to get a more casual and laid back look. Don’t forget the shades and the guitar case to land an impression; who said the case needs to be full!

The Swift Pick

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But if you’re really serious about cheating celebrity style, and have all the time and the wee bit of cash it takes to shop online, here’s a swift assortment of perfect style essentials to pull off a Taylor Swift that’s still easy, yet more on the classy side instead of casual. We reckon that you already have the thin stockings a pair of shoes and a leather handbag that would just about fine if not an exact match to those in the picture. All you’ll need is the vine dress and that lusciously straight hair.

So which Taylor Swift are you getting this fall?

Author Bio

Arsalan Ahmed is a passionate blogger who loves to write on different disciplines such as lifestyle, fashion, finance, and education.

 

I don’t know how to take photos but I tried.

Enjoy my photos with the lyrics of Thomston‘s songs. (Look him up on Soundcloud I swear he’s amazing.)
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Stepping right in to find out we were blind

Our vision was drowned by a burning sky

Caught in the daze you wore it so well

The hotter it got the less that I felt

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You’re holding it in, you say you’re okay

And I believe you

Feeling like we’re at the equator, I see you

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Dysfunctional in every way,

we drive all night and sleep all day,

Caught up in the conflict,

puts me on edge but I like the feeling

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I’m coming up don’t worry now

I’m too young to worry ’bout

Burning out

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But I need you

It’s hard to make you not forget that we need you

After all this time, I’m starting to see you

Convince me that you’re fine

Please

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Am I a pain in your side?

Puts me on edge but I like the feeling,

Cause you’re the pain in mine,

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I can see your collarbones and baby I’m scared

Never thought I’d be so unprepared.

All of the photos were taken by myself. I tried to capture moments that stood out to me or gave me certain emotions.

And trust me- listen to Thomston!

#: photography, moments, beauty, fashion, Thomston.

The images above are property of Konni Kim.

I sneaked backstage at a fashion show!

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Ever felt the urge to break into the backstage of a fashion show and see what on earth goes on behind that runway? Well, worry no more-I’ve done it for you. And I didn’t get caught.

Behind the scenes; behind the spotlight

As some of you already know, for the past few months, I’ve been working for Korea Style Week, which is the more accessible, B2B(buyer-to-buyer) version of Seoul Fashion Week. This season’s Style Week took place in COEX(in Gangnam, Seoul) a few days ago, and I was invited(obviously, I worked for them). I’ve been to Korea Style Week a few times before, once two years ago having to sneak out during class to see the Korean designer Ko Tae yong (see post by young Konni about it here). I’ve evolved a lot since then, since I no longer have to sneak around to go to fashion events lest people should mock (everyone close to me now is very supportive of my fashion career). BUT on Sunday, I had the chance to feel that tingling feeling of secretly tiptoeing around to get a more intimate glimpse into fashion. I sneaked backstage during the Korea Style Week runway show!

I figured if I got caught I could pull out the ‘I worked for the Korea Style Week blog!’ card, although I think even so I wasn’t supposed to actually go backstage during the fashion shows.

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(this was the entrance.)

Okay, deep breath, I tell myself. This is going to be a fun adventure! I’ll just keep exploring until I get kicked out. After all, no one in the fashion world succeeds by following the rules, if there even are any, right? The moment I entered, I just saw a bunch of makeup artists lounging around with their phones, looking pretty bored. I walked past them, nodding and smiling as if to say ‘yeah, I’m just one of you guys, keep working, don’t mind me!’ (They stared for a while, probably because judging from my shortness and chubbiness they made out that I wasn’t one of the models, but I didn’t look chic enough to be one of the designers, so who was I? But they turned back to their phones.)

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(backstage. succeeded in entering without looking too weird.)

The first thing I noticed backstage was the models. Oh what beautiful, unrealistic creatures models are.

No matter how lovely, unique, or bursting with personality a model is, there’s one collective aura that they all share in common, and that’s the aura of intimidation. Even though it’s not the first time I’ve talked to a real live one(yes, the nuance IS that they’re a different species) I can’t help but give away my nervousness in the subtle tremor of my voice or my awkward smile as I ask for them to pose for a photo. Physical traits do certainly influence human interaction, I think, as I bend my knees, tilting my head to eye those long limbs through an old Canon Rebel.

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(models running around in heels, backstage. pretty artistic shot, no?)

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(It was scary to even ask them to pose; they were all at least 20cms taller than me in those heels)

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(a model making sure she’s ready to get on stage. I wonder how it would feel to look in the mirror when you’re a model. I wonder if they look at themselves and take their bodies apart, criticizing themselves for their physical flaws like most of us do.)

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Overall it was pretty hectic; after all, the main objective here is to GET THE MODELS ON STAGE, ON TIME, LOOKING FLAWLESS. No one really payed much attention to me because they were all busy doing their own thing, playing their part to keep the show running. It’s not as glamorous a process as I thought it would be.

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(the runway seems a lot more accessible and familiar from this perspective. Just a few stairs and you’re on the magical fashion pedestal.)

When the models are all lined up and the show starts to heat up, it gets quieter backstage because everyone’s so focused on monitoring the show. The director was constantly running to and fro, waving a bunch of papers with the show schedule and details around. She had a pretty intense look on her face, and she was busy talking to each person about precisely what they were supposed to do at exactly what time.

But of course, none of this frenzy is reflected on the actual runway. All we usually get to see is the models calmly doing the catwalk, looking like they’ve got their stuff together.

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(The outfits were colorful and totally weird, but I like weird.)

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(and then there are the people that have to sit and take care of all the digital stuff, lighting, sound, photography etc.)

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After getting a few shots of the models and the people that do all the digital, techno-work (bless those people! no one ever seems to notice them but they work so hard to put important parts of the fashion show together), I wandered around to observe everything else.

A box filled with ‘밥버거'(rice burgers; a pretty popular snack/meal here in Korea. They’re literally burgers with rice instead of bread.) at the entrance raised my eyebrows; I thought models didn’t eat fatty foods, especially during show season. But then a scene from The September Issue where a pin-thin model cheekily looks at the camera during a shoot and eats pie(pie! The ultimate carb-filled, gluten-loaded, evil food! I’m being sarcastic.) comes to mind, reminding me that we’re all human and should all be let off the hook to eat whatever we want sometimes. (And I enjoyed that thought as I munched on my Burger King burger after the show. I have an unhealthy relationship with their long chicken burger.)

I was trying to get a shot of the rice burgers to show you guys when I was interrupted by something much more intriguing-A BACKSTAGE MODEL FIGHT! Well, okay, it wasn’t a fight, it was just a conflict. But I was still excited. I witnessed a model surrounded by girls, shouting to another model across the corridor about something related to the sequence that they were supposed to do on the runway. The atmosphere turned from hectic and lively to serious-mode, and I heard some of the staff trying to figure out what to do with the runway sequence. “We can’t have the lights turn off without the model on stage!”, I remember the stage director saying. I’d imagined model fights to be much more physical or loud, but from my experience(of sitting around on the big black electric sound boxes(amplifiers?) for an hour or so-yeah, I know, such a foundation to judge) conflicts backstage were more…civilized.

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Amid the messy stacks of clothes and hangers and personal belongings of staff members, there was another large group of humans, other than models, that intimidated me. The designers. These were the people that I was actually dying to talk to, rather than the models. I love talking to people about their creative process and inspiration for their craft; believe me, talking to someone about their art really reveals a lot about a person’s life values and perspectives. However, as busy as they were, they looked so immersed in the show, making sure their creations were properly represented to the public eye, that I just couldn’t get myself to pop their ‘bubble’ of concentration. What I did get to to, though, was ask a designer for a photo and exchange blog addresses! Hopefully I’ll get to properly have a separate conversation with her soon.

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(designers dress fabulously, obviously.)

As thrilling and exciting being backstage a fashion show is, sneaking around gets exhausting after a while. I went out to enjoy the many exhibitions by brands.

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A brand called LUVX seemed to be the main show here. They had a giant, weird booth in the middle of the whole exhibition hall and are actually pretty well-known among younger Koreans, considering the fact that I’ve seen their designs before, and I’m usually the last person to know about new hot Korean brands that idols are seen wearing.

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Walking around on my favorite dirty old pair of Skechers, I saw some designs (and people) that I really liked.

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(She caught my eye because she was tan, unlike most Korean fashion-conscious people these days (everyone here dotes on the classic pale Asian face), and because she had mint-blue highlights on the hair beneath her ears.

“So you’re here all day?”

“Yeah, you can take shifts but I don’t have a partner here so I’ve taken care of this booth each day, all day.”

“Isn’t it hard?”

“It’s doable. But don’t take pictures too close up; I haven’t got any makeup on.”)

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(I have no idea what ‘IRONY PORN’ means and, honestly, I really don’t want to find out)

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(model off duty!)

Overall, last Sunday was a glorious day filled with fun, thrill, and awe…which left me with sore feet and utter exhaustion (I’m usually a total insomniac but I fell straight asleep after coming home from Korea Style week), but that’s okay because it was a meaningful experience, both in terms of my fashion career and my life as a whole.

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And speaking of my fashion career, I’ve started working on my eBay partnership this week!

Wouldn’t be possible without you readers. I love you!

When to break up

Hey, sorry I haven’t blogged for a long time-I’m all about ‘no excuses’ but to give myself the least bit of defense and dignity, I was in a terrible slump period where I was just confused and withdrawn. I promise I’ll be a better blogger from now on. : ) Today’s post is for any of you going through that awkward period where you’re figuring out where that damn relationship(whether it’s a romantic one or a friendship) is going. This might help. I hope. (Although I’m in no place to lecture anyone about anything, I just wanted to share some thoughts.)

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(Me on the left and BFF Jiyeon on the right. She’s on the ‘models’ page of the blog : )

We live in a fast-changing world, obviously, where we’re all out there pursuing the ‘next big thing’, whether it’s the next tv show, the next influential social media, the next it-celebrity, or the next cool dance move to make Vine videos doing(hopefully we shall now move on from twerking). It seems like we’ve come to so unconsciously and without a second thought accept the quick, snappy transitions from one temporary obsession to another and so blindly believe that we’re having fun while chasing after all these new, one-time things when actually, we’re not. And I feel like even relationships have come to be all about the thrill of the pursuit rather than the actual bonding between two people.

But the worst thing is, we can’t help it. It’s like a cold war where each person fights to have the upper hand and prove, to an empty audience, that they care less. You always have to be on your guard because the other person is probably ready to bounce away to the next thing, person, or motive, and you know you are, too. The more complex society becomes and we become, the less space we’ll have to experiment and be naïve, because if we don’t move on we’ll be used. Instead of being taught to always be kind and generous, in this generation we are always warned ‘not to be too nice’. You can’t be too nice because now niceness can become a fatal weakness. Romance doesn’t mean flowers and hugs and growing old together anymore; it encompasses unemotional lust, tragedy, and inevitably, foolish Facebook statuses, and somehow we as a generation believe in this twisted version of it because it’s cool and more interesting and it conforms more to our generation’s #YOLO atmosphere. ‘Heartbreak is the national anthem; we sing it proudly’ sings Taylor Swift in her song New Romantics, and she is right. (I couldn’t resist making that reference. I’m just a proud Swiftie. Although I still cringe every time I remember that awkward time when Taylor kept staring at me at her concert because I tried to take a video of her to send to my friend. We weren’t supposed to film. *sound of humans judging through laptop screens*)

And that’s why, although if I were talking to a large group of people I’d tell them we lack humility and warmth and that we should be nicer to each other amidst the concrete profit-seeking relationships, when I’m having a personal conversation with someone like my younger sister I need to tell her to learn to cut the right people off from her life. We all need to know when to get up and run from that toxic relationship (whaddya mean you don’t, remember that terrible ex? Or that evil ex best friend who you would never in your dreams voluntarily start a conversation with now? Yeah. I’m talking about them.) I tell her, don’t dish out too many second chances, don’t have too much faith that people will change, and most of all don’t let yourself believe that the moment will last. When someone tells you they love you, don’t make the mistake of thinking it means forever and ever and that you’ll all be happy together. Do enjoy each moment, but don’t think the moment is everything, your past, present, and future. It’s just a minuscule portion of the present.

Also, don’t stay if you don’t like the person you become when you’re with him/her. Yes, other people are important and sometimes you need to be selfless, but if you are not happy with yourself when you are with that person, that is NOT one of those times where you should be advocating selflessness. My best friend Jen always says relationships are always based on the give-and-take mechanism, and it would always bother me because it seemed like such a cold utilitarian thing to say, but let me say this now: she’s right. No matter how much you care about the other person, you are the one holding the reins to your own mind and body and emotions, and after all, we get ourselves into relationships in the hopes that it will make us happy. If that’s not happening because you ultimately are not comfortable in your own skin when that person is around, then Adios to that bitch person.

There are so, so many complexities to the dynamics of relationships and I can’t possibly address every single reason to break up with someone, but overall I think the most important thing is, if someone does not see your worth, leave them. Leave them behind in that headed-for-trainwreck relationship and also leave your soppy trainwreck emotions behind, too. This is what it all comes down to. It took me 18 years(okay, so I’m still a baby to some of you out there but still, I speak from experience) to learn that you should never, ever stay with someone who doesn’t give you the respect you deserve. By respect I don’t mean the other person should worship you, I mean they should acknowledge you as an equal individual and respect your freedom, time, feelings(no matter how petty they may seem), and choices. If he/she suddenly calls you to come over when they feel like it but cancels plans you made with each other with the same thunderbolt suddenness, you should have a serious conversation with them because they are obviously not taking your time and schedule into consideration as much as theirs. That’s just plain rude. Another appalling rude thing is the other person using you for a specific purpose, whether it’s work, academics, their social status, sex, or food (what) (no for real tho) etc. How dare they approach you and use you for their own purpose. You’re not there with them in that relationship to give them what they want, you’re in it under the notion of mutual respect, trust, and care. If the other person only sees you for a specific purpose, it means they are too stupid to notice that behind that mask you are also an expert at cracking jokes at the right timing, or that you can’t pronounce certain words properly but look cute because of it, that you always analyze people in the subway like you’re freakin Sherlock, that you curl up in a ball when you sleep, that you never drink fizzy drinks, that you have a whole Pinterest board full of pictures of gorgeous bedrooms because, well, you like bedrooms, that you’re secretly good at singing but you don’t sing in front of other people, that you love to argue, that that you keep a diary journal that’s full of all the nice things he/she did or said to you and that the list each day got shorter and shorter, or that your eyes used to light up whenever he/she walked into the room. If they can’t see the little things like that and love you for them, they’re probably not worth the heartbreak.

So basically, what I’m trying to say is: Love yourself before you can love others, and if the other person is not appreciating you, do yourself a favor and cut them off.

This post holds too many negative emotions that I feel like I need to cleanse it up a bit with some genuine, good old friendship. Moi with my best friend Jen(mentioned above, and around the blog a lot probably) on vacation last year!

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We actually didn’t speak for a whole year at one point though because we got into a fight (I tried to find some fancy words to make it sound more mature and interesting but nah ‘we got into a fight’ is pretty accurate). It was a misunderstanding though. So…I guess another thing to remember is to confront people before you make the final decision to cut them off. If that doesn’t work, well, then get your ass out of there.

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Love you! : )

Why I’m a Taylor Swift fan and proud of it #beingbasic

It seems that Taylor Swift has become the epitome of “mainstream”. I mean, even my DAD knows what she said in her latest interview, and he’s Korean and has never heard of the Kardashians(I repeat, the KARDASHIANS). She’s all over the place, with her music becoming anthems for teenage girls and rise to success becoming topics of great academic research for scholars all over the world. Her latest album, 1989, was the biggest-selling album of 2014, and her Billboard records match up to those of the Beatles.

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She’s become so terribly successful and famous, in fact, that it’s making us all feel guilty to admit we love her. Like any well-known person, she has almost as much haters as fans.  But it’s not just the haters-it’s the fact that there are so, so many other people that listen to her music apart from themselves that bothers people. Liking Taylor Swift’s easygoing, lighthearted songs make people feel “basic”, and, let’s face it-no one wants to feel basic, when we’re all so convinced that we’re incredibly important and one-of-a-kind. ‘Basic’ is the new negative word for ‘typical, shallow, and not special(, let alone artistically valuable)’. Downloading her songs alone on your phone at night while getting emotional about your ex makes you feel like you’ve become that basic, (usually perceived as)dumb girl that orders the infamous pumpkin spice latte while texting on her iphone, in leggings and Uggs. 

And it’s not only that. It’s also the fact that almost all her songs are about the simple emotions involved in falling in love and falling out of love, unlike other mega-selling records of the past that are known for having real artistic value, like ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ by Queen, or ‘Thriller’ by Michael Jackson, or ‘Rehab’ by Amy Winehouse. Of course, lots of other famous songs are about love too-take Whitney Houston’s ‘I Will Always Love You’, for example- but we remember ‘I Will Always Love You’ as a romantic, soulful, legendary song. I’ve never, ever heard anyone call that song “basic”. However, everyone calls Taylor Swift’s songs basic.

Why? I assume it’s because her songs have simple melodies, simple lyrics, and are about simple emotions that we’ve all felt before. They’re not about some deep, artistic rendition of love. They mostly describe the feelings a high school girl would have about that cute boy/girl in Biology, the lousy ex that betrayed you for another girl/guy that you spent all night crying about while eating chocolate in your college dorm room with your friends, or your current S.O. that you smile about before falling asleep every night, imagining holding his/her hand and going on picnics and doing ridiculous lovestruck things that you see in every soppy romantic comedy movie. The thing is, her songs are mostly about everyday feelings. Things that don’t apply exclusively to those who are in a love so complicated and holy and mature, but apply also to the ‘average’ teenager next door that loves procrastination, doesn’t know where her/his life is going, and has a crush on her/his classmate at school.

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Taylor’s songs are mainstream because we can all relate to them. I’ve been told that I try too hard to be unique and sophisticated and that I act too mysterious and chic(which is actually because most of the time I can’t think of anything smart to say so I just sit and stare at people), but I can’t help indulging in the common ‘girliness’ of Taylor Swift’s songs every once in a while, sometimes. When I’m singing in the shower. Everyday. Okay, fine, I have practically ALL her songs on my playlist on my phone, AND I’ve been to a Tay Swift concert back in 8th grade. But I refuse to be ashamed about my affinity for this ‘basic’ culture. Whenever I tell people I like Taylor Swift, their initial responses are always either ‘Seriously?’ or ‘Wow I thought you were really unique and different though’. No one says that when someone likes Amy Winehouse, or Nirvana, or Weezer, or AC/DC, or some alternative indie band. When someone says they like Oasis, it’s all ‘Ohh you know your music!’, unlike when someone says they like the Backstreet Boys(yes, I just made a My Mad Fat Diary reference).

I DON’T GET IT.

I don’t understand in the first place how some pieces of art/music can apparently essentially hold ‘more artistic value’ than others. Art isn’t like a math test; it isn’t something where you can just weigh one against another. Every piece of art holds a different meaning for every single person, evokes different emotions in every single person, and affects every single person in such a variety of ways, and I do have the audacity to say that the silly drawings that I drew of unicorns and princesses when I was four mean way more to me than a Jackson Pollock painting or a Michelangelo sculpture worth millions. 

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Also, I think it’s wrong for people to talk about mainstream pop singers like Taylor Swift or One Direction or even Justin Bieber(unless they’re talking about his stupid antics, then, yeah I agree he needs to get his life together) and their music in a condescending way, assuming that they have less artistry than other ‘legendary’ musicians like, I dunno, Nirvana. Firstly, creating something that the vast majority of ‘common’ people can relate to is not only more difficult than people think but also extremely meaningful. Taylor Swift’s songs reach out to so many people, whoever they may be, and I believe that this connection through her music, between her and the listeners, is a manifest of one of the biggest, most sacred assets of humanity-artistic communication. Because at the end of the day, being able to touch the heart of another or make someone see a certain reflection of their own life through something you created, and being able to create something that can bring a huge group of people all over the world together emotionally in sympathy(even IF it is just about your highschool sweetheart and how you broke up with her/him at school), is one of the most important fundamental principles of art itself. Secondly, even if lots of popular singers today don’t make their own music, I still think that performance(not just ballet or operas but also performing at the Superbowl) is also a legit art which requires much artistry and effort. The process of interpreting a song and using your voice, body, or instrument to communicate with others about the song, whatever that song may be, is still just as valuable as the process of creating the song itself.

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Rock on, Taylor.

Intimate Conversations

Honestly, my life feels so stagnant and dull right now. It’s the same routine over and over, and I really just cannot stand monotony. No big projects, no big events, just day after day of overly peaceful, mere existence to the point where it almost hurts. Seriously, not doing anything hurts. But not having anything major on my hands does have one single advantage-it brings out the little things I otherwise wouldn’t have noticed if I’d been busy. Here are some unretouched, raw photos I took of my sister today and raw, fairly intimate conversations I’ve had over the past week.

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(while ice skating together last Wednesday)

Me, carefully tiptoeing and clutching onto the railing for dear life: Aren’t you scared that you might fall over?

Sister, laughing, whizzing past: Well of course I might fall over! But then how are you gonna do anything?

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My mother, on me:

“She’s a free spirit.”

(Quick shout out to my mum: Mum I know you read my blog, my ‘I’m a coward’ post was on your phone yesterday)

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A teenage dream’s so hard to beat
Every time she walks down the street
Another girl in the neighbourhood
Wish she was mine, she looks so good

-Teenage Kicks by The Undertones-

This song is my ringtone right now. Makes me wanna just drop everything and dance and not pick up the phone.

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Dad: I can’t believe you might be married in only ten years’ time! Time flies.

Me: I’m never getting married.

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The best thing about this outfit on my sister is the plaid. I love plaid. Whenever I see someone walking down the street wearing plaid, it’s like, damn we would be so good together we would be soulmates.

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Me, to my crush: So when are we gonna meet up again?

Crush: Um, I dunno. (and then proceeds to not reply for days)

(#yesIknowmylifeissad #whoswithme)

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Best friend: But I think YOU need to stop pretending too. It shows in your facial expressions and the way you talk. Stop trying to act all emo and tough.

Me: I guess it’s my self defense mechanism. I hate feeling vulnerable. I try to put up a strong front.

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Me: Did you know that I have dimples, when I laugh?

S.O.: Did you know that I have dimples?

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Me, to myself: Stop worrying. Get up and do something.

I’m a coward. There, I said it. (My passive-aggressive tribute to 2014)

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(Me in Jeju Island for the first time. This year.)

I’m a coward. Honestly, truly, I am terrified of life. It gives me the chills to think that in a year I’ll lawfully be an adult. It scares me that I may or may not get married someday. I am frightened of becoming attached to things or people. It scares me that I know I am scared and yet I am not doing anything about it.

What’s stupid is that I’d always thought I was the strongest person in the world. I just knew I would succeed. I knew I was clever, driven, and assertive, and I was confident that I had the ability to ‘make a dent in the world’, as Steve Jobs stated. The word ‘coward’ never really came to mind when I was referring to myself, even while I was thinking my deepest, darkest thoughts.

Over the span of a year, it’s shocking, almost bloody brilliant even, how my perception of myself has changed. It’s kind of like the feeling you get when you look back at an old photo of you back in the day and you get that rush of nostalgia whooshing up your throat, threatening to seep out through your eyes as tears? Well, that’s how I feel about the past year, 2014(of course, there is no need to state ‘2014’ specifically again, but I feel like simply calling it the ‘past year’ isn’t enough; like we need to establish and state some sort of concrete, serious name for this chunk of time that has come and utterly rooted up my previous self-image). After all, it’s the year I’ve realized how much of a freaking coward I can be.

I realize that I didn’t act all dismissing and condescending about love because I’ve never felt it before. Of course I have. Everyone has experienced love in whatever form, at whatever time in their lives, but I always gave this sort of I’m-superior-because-I-don’t-care-for-petty-emotions-like-that sideways smirk(which has kind of stuck to my face as a default expression now) and said, in the chicest, most nonchalant way possible, ‘I don’t believe in love’ because I was scared of it. Because I know, deep inside, that I can so casually and obliviously slip up and become attached to someone who may not love me as much as I love them. I was avoiding the issue altogether, like a coward. I know that once I get quite close to a person, falling into them is as easy as getting someone to agree that Beyonce is definitely, without doubt, queen of pop(aka easy-peasy).

These days I’m especially terrified of the future. Well, my future, to be exact. I (or at least I feel like I have) have experienced so many miserable failures(what happened to getting a boyfriend? what happened to getting better at Spanish? what happened to getting better grades? seriously though, what is up with these grades? WHAT. HAPPENED. KONNI.) in 2014 that I could write a whole, hardcover, at least two hundred page book on how to fall and smack your ass hard on the ground called life. I know this is getting repetitive and possibly a little obsessive-addictive creepy but I can’t help but keep asking my inner, shriveled self- WHAT HAPPENED??? I used to be the girl with all the fierce attitude of the whole room, sucking out the patience in people until they finally got tired(physically and mentally) of me and told me to shut up and go chill or something, the girl who would obviously be voted ‘Most likely to succeed (and break her neck trying because she just cannot stop being so obnoxiously enthusiastic)’; now I feel like I’m just a shadow of that girl. Right now I don’t feel ready to take on the world at all. Now I’ve become obnoxiously anxious of my future, although of course I don’t really show it, I just think it in my head. I’ve got a year left until I get sucked into society as a (*ooh*) ‘grown-up’ but let’s face it: I AM NOT GROWN, UP, DOWN, RIGHT, OR LEFT. I feel like I’m back to the start of the monopoly board because bloody 2014 came and gave me that red card thingy that has instructions on it that tell you to go back to ‘START’.

And the problem here is, when I’m scared, I somehow get petrified, as if someone came and shot me with a stun-gun. I collapse under fear. I cease to think rationally. Like right now. I’m barely thinking about what’s coming out of my brain and onto this laptop screen, but here I am, writing my thoughts out (although it may actually be a good thing since this post will probably turn out to be one of my most raw, honest ones). One thing I do know now, though, is that I really need to pick myself up and make sure that all this was worth it. Since I can’t change what has already happened in the gloomy, swamp-like depths of 2014, I inevitably owe it to myself to at least make sure that it was all worth it somehow; that it was all for ‘something bigger’.

So basically, since 2014 has upper-cut me in the face so many times, I just have one wish for the new year. That I improve myself and get to a happier place.

2015, don’t expect me to play along like last time. It’s MY turn now.

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(P.S: Also, when in doubt, eat.)

Goodbye, 2014.

Things I realized from being brutally honest with myself

Writing has always entertained me, in one way or another. A fun, relaxing, magical thing. My parents always encourage me to write things out, whether it be a personal diary entry full of my feelings, or a professional article on my stance on a current issue. Because of this (maybe ‘nurtured’)affinity toward writing, I think that when I write, I see a true reflection of myself in the most honest way possible.

It’s when I’m sitting alone in front of my laptop with a cup of coffee, in an old cafe(which is what I’m doing right at this very moment) that I can pluck up the courage to connect with myself. When I say ‘connect with myself’ I don’t mean some superstitious voodoo business; I mean actually acknowledge myself for what I’ve become.

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It’s really not as easy as it sounds, you know, acknowledging yourself for what you are. Of course, once in a while we all whine about how we’re so doomed because we procrastinate endlessly, or we rant on about how we eat too much and sleep too much(or too little, in my case. Sleep, I mean.) But have we actually journeyed further than that? I doubt it. We never really get to step beyond the comfort zones of our smartphones and casual social media binging.

We’re at the point where it seems taboo to question the most fundamental things. Try asking a random basic ‘philosophical’ question to a friend. It will probably make them(most people I’ve tried it on have, anyways) almost instinctively try to lighten the awkwardness of how fundamental and ‘deep’ your question was by joking around or seeming clearly uncomfortable with how ‘pretentious’ you sound by asking such a thoughtful question instead of commenting on the latest hot topic or something. Considering this situation, the only way we seem to be realistically evaluating ourselves is through our selfies. Which I think is really bad, since selfies don’t even begin to scratch the surface of who we are at all. Whenever I take a selfie I feel like I’m deluding myself by filling up my empty spots with the shallow satisfaction of how I look(not that I think I look fabulous…but you get what I mean in general) and establishing my existence by posting them on Facebook, rather than actually taking the time to get to know my inner self.

Today I had a lot of time to kill on my hands since finals ended last week and I was alone for most of the day, so I decided to stop and take a break from mourning over my horrendous finals scores and sending my friends memes on Facebook and just be alone for a while. To get off social media and stop worrying about what other people are gonna think of me(or whether they’re thinking of me, *cough cough* hot guy on the third row in chemistry class) and just devote a chunk of time solely to myself. It’s harder said than done. It can actually be quite frightening to some people, and I understand that. For some of us, being alone with our thoughts can be harder than facing a room full of a thousand people, especially in today’s world. I admit-hitting the ‘deactivate’ button on Facebook was a big decision, my index finger was trembling as I hit the button that would segregate me from the world and disconnect me from my primary source of self-worth, but I survived it like a warrior. Okay, that was exaggerated. But still, it was hard.

I sat in a cafe, ordered my usual green tea latte, and basically I just…sat for hours, writing out things on my mind, sipping latte and listening to Christmas carols(only 4 days left now!), and thinking about things I usually don’t have the time to think about. I’ve been sitting here in the corner of this cafe for hours now and I’ve come up with some thoughts at least remotely worthy enough to put down on paper, or, on my laptop screen.

Being brutally honest with myself for once, firstly, I realized that I was stopping myself from becoming more successful in life. To be exact, my arrogance was barring me from advancing in so many areas of my life. I had never realized it before because a) I always seemed to have more urgent things to think about and b) I was too afraid to face my flaws in the face BECAUSE OF my arrogance(a vicious cycle..arrgg) in the If I had continued on with my life unaware of this

Secondly, I realized that I am being very weak right now. Finals finally ended last week and school is about to let out in a few days; obviously it would be an understatement to say that I’m a little over the moon and therefore am a little in the partay-all-day-whoop-whoop mood but I’m going to have to go to university next year and I.NEED.TO.GET.UP. I am being lazy. I’ve been in denial about this for a week now but now I must get myself together and STOP ILLEGALLY BINGE-WATCHING ‘MY MAD FAT DIARY’. Seriously. Procrastination isn’t cool anymore-has anyone else ever felt the sickening feeling of being left behind when everyone else seems to be moving forward in life and living out their dreams step by step?

Thirdly, I realized that I’m not that attractive. I’m not saying this to be degrading toward myself or try to earn your sympathy. I just feel like I should acknowledge reality.

Finally, I realized that I should be more honest with not only myself but also with others in my life. A few white lies here and there are acceptable, but mainly I need to have honest, genuine bonds with the people around me that I love. From now on, it’s going to be either a true relationship where I don’t have to act superficial, or no relationship.

Whew, this one was really emotional and long and personal.

What to wear to the baseball game

I don’t usually wear hats. Don’t get me wrong-I absolutely LOVE hats(woolly hats, snapbacks, hats with tassels, fedoras, hats hats hats) and I even used to wear a different hat every day of the week back in primary school. But as I grew,  I started to hear “Ohmagherd that makes your face look super huge.” substantially more than “Awww little child look at you in that adorable hat!” which eventually discouraged me from continuing on with my hat craze. But seriously though, I can’t even deny it because it’s true. #sad #ithoughtpubertywassupposedtomakeyoumoreattractive #butiguessnot

To me, hats are like the ex boyfriend that you’re still secretly attached to. I have so many yet I can’t take them out and show them off because I look and consequently feel horrible with them on my head. Hats, I mean.

But today I’m gonna bring back my old hatty self for a while to create my very own MLB(Major League Baseball) hat outfit for the amazing sporty brand, Fanatics! I’ve just created my own MLB baseball-themed ensemble with an MLB hat from the leading sportswear brand Fanatics and some other cute casual numbers from other stores.

Check out some of Fanatic’s awesome sporty hats (They also have stylish hats for NBA, NFL, NHL, college sports, and more!) : MLB hats

This is the MLB hat that I picked out from their website.

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(Here’s the link, if you wanna get the awesome hat: Fanatics MLB Hats)

It’s a New York Yankees Snowflake Trapper knit hat. I personally love the color scheme of the hat because it’s very toned-down yet unique at the same time because of the fur. The snowflake design makes the hat more attractive. I swear this hat would make anyone look cute. Even me!

I put the hat together with a mens’ American Apparel raglan baseball-style tee, ripped pale boyfriend jeans from any local thrift shop, and some unique ASOS ankle boots. Now I’m not really a huge baseball fan(I’m still figuring out how a ‘home run’ works) but I am sure with this outfit, the baseball won’t be the only thing that’ll be chased after at the game. (That was a lame pun, I know.)

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(Find this raglan shirt here: American Apparel)

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(Boyfriend jeans! You can find them at almost any common brand. Try Forever21, Asos, H&M, or even better-the thrift shop on your street! I found this cute pic here: wheretoget.it)

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(These cuties are from: ASOS)

Although I am totally hopeless at baseball and at watching baseball(Huh? Why are they throwing the ball at that guy? What? Huh? What? -Me watching baseball on TV) and although I’m definitely not the sporty type of person who’s always rooting for their fav football team, there is one thing I’ll always be rooting for and that’s baseball-themed fashion. Baseball jackets in particular have actually become a huge permanent fashion item for even non-sporty food lovers like myself. It’s interesting how one item of clothing can penetrate the two fields of sports and fashion, even though both fields are perceived as almost completely unrelated to each other.

So this was my MBL fashion challenge! Thank you to all my readers for your support ❤

The story of how I fell asleep and missed my interview with Pixie Lott

Hey readers,

I feel like, because it’s hard to find an avid fashion blogger my age in Korea, lots of people tend to think I must be an incredibly amazing blogger. The thing is, whether I’m interviewing America’s Next Top Model models, hosting collaboration projects, or talking to magazine editors, I slip up a lot. And I mean A LOT.

For example, the other day I was supposed to be interviewing Pixie Lott, but I FELL ASLEEP AND MISSED IT.

Yep, you read that correctly. I just literally could not attend the online webinar BECAUSE I WAS FRIGGIN SLEEPING. IN MY BED. And this is THE PIXIE LOTT we’re talking ’bout here.

So here’s what happened. Recently I found a blogger community newsletter in my heap of emails. There was a link to attend the online Q&A session with Pixie Lott, hosted by the brand Magnitone. Of course, being a Pixie Lott fan, I applied. As I waited in anxiety and anticipation, I received an email informing me that I’d made it; that I’d been chosen to participate in the exclusive live webinar session with Pixie Lott. At that point I could practically imagine the looks of utter shock and admiration on people’s faces when they found out about it. Tingling with excitement, I posted this on facebook.

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And people were in awe, as I’d expected.

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I was too busy basking in the glory of being the first person among my friends to be able to exclusively interview someone as famous as Pixie Lott, that at first I did not realize that the Q&A session was in three hours. I was probably the last person put on the list.

I honestly freaked out when I read the words ‘Reminder: the exclusive Q&A session with Pixie Lott is in three hours(4AM)!’ in my business inbox. I’d been studying at school until 10PM that day, I was tired, I needed a shower and a nice few hours of sound sleep. A short internal conflict occurred in my head-should I stay up until 4AM and talk to Pixie Lott, or should I just forget it and get some sleep? After a split second, I decided that the former would definitely have to happen, because, who knows, this could be my big break, right? You never know in the blogging world.

So I drank my coffee, washed my face, and sat at my desk to prepare myself for the painful three hours of cruel, wearisome waiting in anticipation and irritation from severe sleep deprivation that were to come. I did everything to keep myself awake. After all, I couldn’t let my readers(you guys) down, and my friends were counting on me to nail this Q&A session and tell them all about it.

AND THEN guess what I did. I got a little drowsy, so I thought, ‘just 5 minutes…yes…I’ll just close my eyes for just, just…5 minutes’, and then I WENT TO MY BED. Now there’s one thing you need to know about my bed-it’s the coziest, softest, most sleep-inducing patch of space on planet Earth. It’s truly a fine bed. And as I lay down, I kept telling myself, ‘Everything will be fine… I’m sure I’ll get up before 4…’ BUT NO.

NO, NO, NO. JUST. NO. I DID NOT get up before 4. In fact I did not get up at all until the clock struck 7:10 AM. I opened my eyes, got straight up, stared at the clock, rubbed my eyes, then stared some more. The clock definitely said 7:10. I panicked for a while, even thinking, ‘well..well…maybe the webinar isn’t over! Maybe I’ll still get to talk to Pixie…’ But I regained my logical thinking skills, muttered some bad language about how I was such an idiot(WHICH I WAS), and went back to bed, because, you know, maybe it was just a big bad dream(which it wasn’t).

And that’s my story of how I almost, just almost, interviewed Pixie Lott. My friends were totally bummed when I told them, of course. My mother just laughed at me. I was mad at myself for a while but then, oh well.

This post was supposed to be about my almost-happened interview with Pixie Lott, but since it didn’t happen, here’s my reflection on the whole situation.

Thinking back now, firstly, I’m beginning to realize it’s not that big of a deal. #YOLO. Just kidding. That hashtag is overused. But seriously though, take that in for a moment-You Only Live Once. If I only live once, I wanna make mistakes, especially while I’m still young. I’m only human. There’s no point dwelling on the past and getting angry all over again. It’s a waste of precious time. Secondly, while I do need to forgive myself and move on, I also need to learn from my mistakes. Me missing the interview chance was totally my fault. I cannot blame anyone else for it since it was just the result of me being an idiot. Blogging and tackling school work all at once is turning out to be harder than I thought, and I do struggle. However, since I made the conscious choice to continue on with my blogging career, I need to start being more responsible for it. I need to improve my time management, primarily.

I also need to focus on the essence of my blogging. I always told myself that I didn’t want to be the type of fashion blogger that just posts photos of Chanel and Givenchy, accepting unhealthy fashion ideals and passing selling them on to the public as if those standards are the ultimate rules of fashion, conforming to trends without critical thinking. However, these days I often find myself thirsty for opportunities with famous, popular people that might give me my ‘big break’. It’s ridiculous, I know. I need to focus on my writing; my posts, which express my true colours and insights, and stop floating above my conscience, swimming on the edge of glamour and undeserved fame. This is my confession and promise to you guys that from now on I’ll remind myself each day of why I’m staying up this late(or NOT staying up, in the case of how my Pixie Lott interview went down, haha) and take myself to the beginning whenever I feel like I’m becoming too obsessed with the shallow glittery stuff. Because I believe I can make a positive change and contribute to the development of self-expression.

I love you guys. Thank you.