A 17 year old’s thoughts on Misogyny, Masculinity, and Elliot Rodger.

Hi readers,

I know I’m not supposed to do posts like this because, after all, this IS a fashion/art/lifestyle blog, but after watching Elliot Rodger’s YouTube videos and reading the comments of the horde of ignorant misogynistic people advocating(YES, ADVOCATING) the killings at UC Santa Barbara, I’m determined to write this post. It’s 3am and I’m supposed to be sound asleep in bed but I just cannot get myself to leave all this behind and put my mind to rest, not when nonsense like this is happening in this world..

So here we are. Humanity has come to a point where students who feel that they don’t get enough sex are totally capable of picking up a gun and killing their peers at school. We’re living in a generation of violence and distorted sexuality. During the past 33 years, the US alone has been through 71 mass murders, with Elliot Rodger’s being the 71st. It’s gross just to think about.


Now let’s talk about Elliot Rodger’s recent massacre for a while. Yes, we can all blatantly see that the issue is definitely related to guns being permitted so easily in the US, but some keen eyed analysts all around the internet have come up with theories about the linkages between the Elliot Rodger killings and misogyny, and although when I first heard about the murders I’d nearly lost all faith in the human race, after being assured that there still are some people that fully understand the issue and are capable of seeing the big social picture, I managed to regain some of my lost faith.

I wholeheartedly agree with the rapidly growing surge of netizens that are trying to raise awareness of how misogyny and social perceptions did indeed contribute a great deal to the terrible sin of Rodger. Anyone who has seen Rodger’s videos(click here to watch) would realize that he had a distorted view of the opposite sex and sex and dating itself. And while I acknowledge the fact that he was mentally ill, and that there are so many other issues related to what caused him to do what he did, I strongly feel that social atmosphere played a huge part in this crime.

In his videos, Rodger states that he doesn’t understand why girls aren’t attracted to him and won’t give him sex. He continuously emphasizes throughout his videos that it’s an injustice that girls won’t be with him. He says that he is going to show girls that he is the magnificent ultimate male by ‘slaughtering’ them. Later he said something along the lines of ‘I wouldn’t have killed the six innocent people if a girl had accepted me’. So from this we can observe that the main reason behind Rodger’s killings was that he was an incel(involuntarily celibate), which is a word defined by Urban Dictionary as “A frustrated virgin who feels as if the world owes them sex. A self-described ‘incel’ is highly likely to blame their virginity on the other 6,999,999,999 people on the planet rather than consider that maybe the problem lies inward.” (just to give you an idea of what it means.) Elliot Rodger wasn’t just an incel in his mind though-he had been participating in conversations on internet sites for men containing content degrading women and ‘standing up for men’s rights’.


(Elliot Rodger and a quote from his manifesto.)

Well. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to misogyny and distorted sexuality. A world where men kill because the other gender refuses to have sex with them or be in a relationship with them. The interesting question raised by many at this point is “Why men?” Among those 71 killings that have occurred in the US over the past 33 years, 70 of them have one thing in common. The fact that the perpetrators of the crimes were men. Here in Korea I’m constantly hearing more and more tragic stories of men raping/killing their ex girlfriends after being rejected by them. Do you feel anything yet? How about if I told you again that Elliot Rodger killed because he thought women owed him love and sex, and thought it an ‘injustice’ that women would not give it to him, and thought that murdering people would make him the superior alpha male? Rodger was just one of the many that have been/are being affected by the standards of masculinity that society has set for us-that males must not be emotional, that they must be strong at all times, that they need to “stop being a pussy” and show how tough they are by resorting to rash and (usually)violent actions. We need to realize that by setting and accepting(whether you’re doing it consciously or unconsciously) these standards, we as a society are leading our boys down the dark alleyway of violent masculinity.

A short video about the terrible things we do to boys before they grow into men. http://www.upworthy.com/theres-something-absolutely-wrong-with-what-we-do-to-boys-before-they-grow-into-men?c=exit1

All of this is linked together in a big, messed up ball which is dragging us all downhill into a pit of my lost faith in humanity. You know, I used to be so naive and hopeful of this world, and thought I could walk up to any stranger on the street and ask them which way to go and they would try their best to help me out. I thought no matter how bad things got, all humans still had a heart that would alert them whenever they tried to do something so…so inhumane. I guess I was just too naive for this world. Maybe stupid.


 I think any decent human being would be able to see that all these crimes were mainly derived from culture and the sickly obsession over masculinity as a form of strength and power. Not all men are deranged like Elliot Rodger or any of the other murderers were and obviously misogynistic perceptions have relatively decreased compared to the past, but the men that still do acquire a twisted self identity as a male have been and still are crushing the lives of innocent people and showing us how negatively powerful a social perception can be in creating such monsters. In a cultural atmosphere that often defines “being a true man” as showing power and a violent, cocky attitude, it’s not much of a surprise that many men affected by these strange standards of sexuality believe that the whole world owes them. These men have a mutated “masculine” ego that causes them to even believe that women owe them pleasure and sex, and, as in the case of Rodger, when women deny them these things, they feel that it is completely justified to display their “masculinity” by being brutal and killing people.

Scared of what will become of our society yet? Let me tell you an even more shocking fact: There are many people that applaud Elliot Rodger for his killings, claiming that the women should have given him sex when he wanted it.

WHAT? WHAT. WHAT?! Wha.. I’m still having trouble accepting it. Some netizens even went as far as to say that they “encourage more young men to take womens lives” and “thanks for putting these bitches in their place” or even victimized Elliot Rodger, stating that he had to go through the agony of  involuntary celibacy. And guess what? Some of these ridiculous comments had more than 50 likes. Which means there are actually lots of ignorant people in this world with distorted minds and a sick perception of their own sexuality and gender. And in a reality where misogyny and violent masculinity is proven to kill, just sit there for a moment and imagine the future of humanity…

Wanna see more outrageous stuff? This post was inspired by this video: http://www.upworthy.com/in-the-last-33-years-70-of-the-71-mass-murderers-in-the-us-all-had-1-thing-in-common?c=reccon1


To comment or like this post, just click on the title of this post, then scroll down. You’ll see the Like button and Comment box at the bottom of the post. I love reading your comments, whether you agree or disagree with what I say, so go ahead and tell me what you thought of this post.

Image credits: http://www.tumeke.blogspot.kr/2012/02/tui-isnt-sexist-bloke-beer-drunk-by-nz.html

Elliot Rodger story is being framed through the lens of white media



  1. It’s absolutely disgusting that there are people out there who actually vindicate this boy’s wholesale slaughter! As for him blaming the female race for pushing him over the edge by refusing to have sex with him, I just find that so sickening! With so many men thinking in this twisted, misogynistic way, it’s no wonder that the levels of violence against women are booming world wide!

    1. Totally agreed. This disgusts me, but what disgusts me even more is the fact that the number of crimes like this is increasing. Everyone should speak up and make an effort to stop tragedies like this from occurring again.

  2. HI.

    Very Interesting .

    The only thing l could say to you right now is to not loose your faith. There are Many beautiful things and you need to focus on that… well, I have a lot of things to shaer with you but the most important is the following:

    I’m a man, I’m 21 year old and I love you even though I don’t know you.

    Cheers and success

    1. Hi Luis,
      Thank you so, so much for reading my writing. You’re right. I believe change can happen and there really are lots of beautiful things in the world too, like your comment! You made my day. Thanks : ) Cheers to you too and have an amazing day!

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